Coping With Cancer Hair Loss Part II

Sixteen years ago my oncologist said," You may or may not lose your hair with chemo". My hair looked like straw after six months of chemo, but I had plenty. Last year when cancer came back the doctor said, "You will lose your hair in twelve days". I chuckled, "Now your sure"? He was sure.

The pain of cancer is exacerbated beyond all else when it comes to hair loss. No matter how good your support group losing your hair is harsh. Don't let the loss overpower you.

Big Nurse, my clinical trails nurse said, "Get a wig" Big Nurse is always right. I went to get a wig. Some years ago I read an article about a beauty salon called Anita's that specialized in fitting wigs for cancer patients. I went in with a full head of hair. The first thing they said, " We are sorry, Have you heard about Look Good Feel Better? I was very fortunate that there was a clinic in a few weeks. Look Good Feel Better is a clinic sponsored by the American Cancer Society. Mark, the cancer specialist asked, "What chemo will you get". "Taxetere", was my answer. " You will lose your hair in about 12-14 days", he said.

My wig ordered, I went home and called the American Cancer Society to register for Look Good Feel Better. I didn't really want to go, But they had mentioned free make-up and they would discuss tying scarfs. I always wanted to know how to tie scarfs. I thought scarfs might be my thing, I didn't think I was a wig person. I had lots of ball caps. I got a cute sassy short haircut. The wig, arrived. I was set.

First chemotherapy therapy was on April Fools Day.

Horror on day twelve. I ran my brush through my hair and strands came out in my hand. I couldn't believe it was happening to me. Every time hair came out I winced at the reality of my loss. Everyone knows someone who has lost their hair. The opinions on what to do when the hair loss starts vary. Some say, "Shave it immediately". Some like me, go into denial keep telling themselves, "You don't look like you have lost too much hair". Stunned into inaction the Look Good Feel Better seminar came at just the perfect time. I went to a conference as the hair was beginning to fall out. Was I horrified at how sickly I looked in the group picture with my thinning hair.

I went home and one of my sons buzzed my head. I was totally grossed out with hair falling out. Deciding when to start wearing the wig is as big a cancer crisis as treatment decisions.

My clinical trial infusions took an amazingly long time. I was a science experiment. They needed to check every little thing. While I was sitting in the infusion chair during treatment 2 there was a gal next to me. Some people want to chit chat in chemo. This was her first round. Her nurse was having trouble getting her IV started. Cheryl would tense every time the nurse started near her. Never into rescuing people I mind my own business unless I know something can be done? I waited to start a conversation. Chemo is 25 miles from home, When they started talking about where I live, then the church they both went too I just jumped in with my church's name. Cheryl said,"My parents go there." She relaxed while she was talking to me and the IV slid in nicely. We talked about her parents, the wigs we got at the same place and Look Good Feel Better. She asked, "Do you want to go together"? "O.K." We exchanged phone numbers and went several days later. When you feel icky it really helps to have someone else motivate you. Temptation was great to back out on Look Good Feel Better but I felt that I had to try for Cheryl's sake.

When things seem too out of control get a red Wig!

The same man who fitted my wig was the main presenter. He and his assistants showed how to tie scarfs and apply make-up. Learning how to make soft hats from old tee shirts was a life savor. When you don't have hair your head is sensitive. Another gal had an attractive turban on her head. Underneath the turban was something she called a Buff. Buffs are wonderful! They are soft, can be twisted into 12 different styles. I still wear mine when I bike ride, ski, and exercise. The gal with the turban volunteered to have a make-over and they had her take off her turban. I thought I was going to faint. She didn't have any hair. She was very courageous to take off her head coverings. People like her give me courage. Cheryl let out a soft gasp.

Until the lady took off her turban, then the buff, I never imagined being hairless would equal cold. It was good L.G.F.B. prepared me for months of sleeping with a hat. When you have no hair you get cold. A wonderful friend brought me a couple of lengths of very soft light weight knit fabric that I tied a knot at the top to make a sleeping hat. I believe it was the same material used under a cast. You will have to talk with your doctor about this material.

The hair on the top of my hair is curly. It grew back thick. I don't know what color yet. It takes time for your DNA to start working after chemotherapy. I may be stuck with mostly gray and a little brown. Big Nurse had clear hair when I met her 3 months after her chemo. A year later it is luxurious dark brown. My blond friend had her hair return black. There is no telling what color you will get.

Perspective is everything. When you shower after a swim showers are really short. You don't have to cream rinse your hair. Another friend congratulated me recently on freedom from Hair Hell? She said, "You know, when you want to stop coloring your hair, but can't because the roots show". Only people who have chemo are successful at escaping the bottle".

Losing your hair may represent losing your femininity and beauty. You are so much more than your hair. You can have lots of fun changing your wig. People don't recognize you with a wig. One day, I was walking into a friends house when another really close friend walked in behind me. She was incensed that my husband was with lovely looking women she didn't recognize. She demanded, "Where is Tireless"? She just cracked up when she realized I was the lovely lady with my husband. Enjoy people Do not hide because you have no hair. The fact that you are alive makes you beautiful. Take heart, hair comes back,

If I see you I will come up to you, and say with complete honesty, "You are beautiful! You are alive". And the man or women next to you will beam, because they think so too.

Special note a friend of mine is going through chemo and she had great fun and was the talk of Christmas. She had 50 guests playing , Where's Debbie? She kept changing wigs.